But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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