porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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