Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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