You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Randomize
