Are we in a gay sports bar?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
