Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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