I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
