Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
