I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
