I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
