i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
