Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
