Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize