We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
