genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
