They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize