i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
