Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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