i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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