You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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