don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Acid is not a monday night drug
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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