You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
