I am in a vortex of obligation.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
