Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
