Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
