no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Randomize