There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
