It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
