only you would photoshop your dick
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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