He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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