..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
