Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Bring me that man meat
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
