I CAN MOONWALK!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
