When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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