She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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