how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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