Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
