just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize