i jhust puked up my retainher.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
