I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
