i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
A+ Viking dick
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