My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize