You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
