So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
