a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
