she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
