I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize