that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
