i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
