You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
