omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize