I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
