i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
well I can't set my house on fire every night
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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