Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
