she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize