Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
