Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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