I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Where is the hickey?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize