if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
is it fun? or sober?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
