I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
