my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
