do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
