Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
