i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just want to make out with him forever
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
