Do you still have your period?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
