my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
