i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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