I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
